Blood, Sweat & Tears

Not so much blood (although Tara did bleed!) but lots of sweat and tears after today's "mock" Triathlon. I can't really figure out what makes it mock since we did the actual distances of the race we are training for in August, but it was mock none the less. Last week we found out we'd be doing this in place of a full swim training day and instantly my knees buckled. I was torn between excitement and sheer terror. As the days approached, the excitement was gone, gone, gone and I was left with only terror. Who would save me when I drown? Who would do CPR when I passed out on the run? Thankfully I had done the bike course once before so I was ready for that part. I tried to think of every excuse possible to get out of the damn thing but I had to forge ahead.

I was most terrified about the swim since it has the highest likelihood of death associated with it if you fail. The swim turned out not to be so terrible bc we were in very shallow water the whole time and were able to stand when we hit someone. On to the bike, it was great! I felt great, was able to get it done without any crying or complaining and had so much fun! And then it was alllllllllll downhill from there - figuratively and literally. Got on my sneakers to run and my legs would not move. They were so heavy and I have nothing left. I walked about 25 minutes in total and thought my legs might fall off. I ended up calling a babysitter on the way home to stay with the kids so I could nap - got home, jumped in the shower and cried my eyes out. I felt so defeated, like such a loser. I felt as if I've been training for what seems like forever and was not one inch further from where I was on day one. After I showered and cried I slept for about 2 hours and tried to shake it off. I have been trying to celebrate the small victories along the way but that run just pushed me over the edge. I felt like I let myself down, my team, my coaches - just an all over loser-failure.

Now here is the inspirational, uplifting part of this entry - I told a few teammates how I was feeling and they all were AMAZINGLY supportive. They all said they had felt that way at one point, everyone hits bottom but we did do something great on Sunday. We did more before noon than billions of people do in their lifetime. I was able to celebrate the victories of the day and move on and back to training. If only, only, only the run would get easier - all would be right with the world! Thank you again to an amazing group of people that constantly lift me up and push me towards my goal....

Put me in Coach

People often ask me, "why would you pay so much money to be on a team? Can't you just train on your own?". I suppose you can - I'm certain that many people actually do but I bet they aren't having as much fun as we are! But clearly these people don't really know me - I need to be motivated, pushed, challenged. Never, in a billion years, would I get up at 4:30am, drive 25 minutes and then work out for an hour unless there was a coach and a team there waiting for me. I know this bc the other 3 days of the week that there is no one waiting for me, I'm in bed until the very last minute humanly possible! Not only are they a huge motivator, they are inspiration. I've learned more from my coaches than I ever thought possible - I certainly learned more than the initial fee that I paid. I might owe them money at this point! Along with the most amazing coaching staff ever, is my teammates. I feel like I've known these girls for years and that we've been friends forever - they are such a strong, inspirational and fun group of athletes...I'm still amazed that the day has come this late in my life that I ALMOST feel comfortable referring to myself as an athlete...almost. So here is a huge, enormous THANK YOU to: Jenni, Tara, Cindy, Yasmine, Jocelyn, Christine, Ximena, Adriana and of course, Emma, Andy and sweet Katie! You only have 5 (FIVE) more weeks to get me trained for the finish line...because of all of you I know now that I can actually cross that finish line! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Pace

If I have to hear the words, "Race Pace" one more time I just might scream. Here is why: I only have ONE pace - go and not go. Running is either: walking or walking a little faster. Swimming is either: swimming forward or drowning. Biking: well that one is a bit different just by the sheer force of gravity. When going downhill my pace is fast, well fast for me, and then I'm going uphill it's all I can do to not roll backwards down the hill.

Every training session we always start with a "slow, warm up pace" followed by a "race pace". I basically just, "GO" or "STOP" - those are my 2 paces, take it or leave it. Maybe in 50 days from today, August 29th - I'll have different paces...stranger things have happened over the course of this training. We shall see!

High & Roll

Amazing ride this morning - 2 hours, 20 miles, amazingly gorgeous weather, a nice long break to gab with the ladies. There is nothing better than being on a team to push me, teach me and get to know. The ride was difficult but I was able to get through and have a great time. I ended this mornings ride on a HIGH HIGH! I was thinking for the first time - I can do this race.

THEN.....I figured it would be a great idea to drive the Diamond Girl bike route to see just how bad the "rolling hills" are compared to my ride this morning. It would be an understatement to say that was the WORST idea of the day. The rolling hills only roll one way: uphill which makes cycling up them somewhat difficult. Not to mention I will have to swim 5 miles before, well ok not 5 whole miles more like 500 meters but you get my point. Once I descend from Mt. Everest it will be on to running a marathon up more hills...ok 4 miles but still very difficult.

The worst part to learning just how difficult the hills are...that means training rides need to be that much harder. As if they weren't hard enough. Again I ask myself, "did I actually pay for this torture and if so, why?".