Monday, November 19, 2012

The Facebook Effect

This past month I've heard these things said to me:

  • "that was before you were an athlete";
  • "you're a marathoner, right?";
  • "how do you fit in working out every single day?";
  • "I wish I could workout as much as you do";

I attribute all of these comments to something I'm calling, "The Facebook Effect".  It's sort of like having a PR person for your personal life but instead of paying someone, it's just me talking about me (what else is there to talk about anyway?).  I find it really funny bc none of those statements are true - I've never said they were but people assume things bc I am constantly posting things on Facebook and on this blog about races.  The truth is that I only write about them bc I could not be more shocked at myself for doing any of them.  I talk about them bc I just can't believe it's actually me, actually doing them.

Never have I been an athlete, athletic, in shape or cared about any of those things.  I've always longed to be skinny, like my friends (I tend to only have really skinny, really pretty friends for some really dumb reason - I'm looking for some fat, ugly friends if you know of any I can interview).  Just to back up a bit - I played field hockey from 7th - 12th grade but after 9th grade I was basically just-on-the-team.  The younger girls were 100 times better than I could ever be and since I've always believed in, "I'd rather quit than fail" theory on life - I just quit trying and let them take over.  I sat on the bench for most of my field hockey career and was fine with that.  I didn't fight for a spot, didn't work hard, didn't work at all.  I liked the uniform (cutest plaid kilt - what's not to like?), liked hanging out with my friends with on the team and it got me an extra study hall for the entire semester (some really dumb rule that if you played a sport, you were given an extra study hall in place of gym).  But an athlete - NEVER.  Someone that tried to be better - NEVER.  A runner - NOT IN A BILLION YEARS.  Flash forward to now and I really do try.  I have a lot more downs than ups, I'm extremely hard on myself bc I know I could try harder, give more and get faster but life gets in the way and sometimes you have to go on a field trip and skip a workout.  And to be really honest, sometimes I need a manicure and it's between a run and a manicure - the hand massage wins every time.  

I truly love watching my kids love something athletic and getting better and better at it with each try.

This is my darling 10 year old that kicked my butt in this weekend's 5k - his pace 8:55/mile, my pace 10:17/mile.

No matter how many times I try to tell people the truth they think I'm being humble - I assure you, I'm not.  I can say I'm a TRIATHLETE, perhaps even a RUNNER.  But I can say that I try really hard.  I love triathlon, I love racing, I do not love the training, I love the gear, the magazines, I love talking about it, writing about it and meeting other people with the same love of the sport.  But be sured - I'm not good, I'm not fast, I don't ever podium.  I do all I can do not come in DFL (dead fucking last).  However, bc of Facebook and Blogger I get to paint myself in any light I wish and since my dream is to be an All-Star Triathlete that's the what I paint myself to be.  It's a nice life and it's great to write whatever I want about myself.  So keep assuming I'm a rockstar - it's great for my ego.

This is how I wish to think of myself while I'm racing!